Minor Hockey Talks - Hockey Forum

So it’s our first year on a A level team, previously played at a higher level squad but was cut as the team was blown up. Now your kid is clearly playing at the proper level and a solid player on a good team. How do you explain to your kid that “he is just not a good fit”. Coach says he’s a strong player and has progressed well throughout the season but he’s just not a good fit. There a two players who are clearly less talented at the same position that are coming back. Both players new to the team as well. Both parents with generational type wealth, where I’m just a blue collar working stiff. I think it’s our family that’s not the right fit. How’s he going to react? I think he will just realize that this is just a bunch of bulls$it and who needs it. I always thought playing in the gthl would mean athletic talent superseded money or cliques. So he has four other offers to play in the division but his heart is so hugely invested in this team. Should I wait to the end of the playoffs to tell him or tell him now?

Guest wrote: ↑Fri Mar 22, 2024 11:46 pm So it’s our first year on a A level team, previously played at a higher level squad but was cut as the team was blown up. Now your kid is clearly playing at the proper level and a solid player on a good team. How do you explain to your kid that “he is just not a good fit”. Coach says he’s a strong player and has progressed well throughout the season but he’s just not a good fit. There a two players who are clearly less talented at the same position that are coming back. Both players new to the team as well. Both parents with generational type wealth, where I’m just a blue collar working stiff. I think it’s our family that’s not the right fit. How’s he going to react? I think he will just realize that this is just a bunch of bulls$it and who needs it. I always thought playing in the gthl would mean athletic talent superseded money or cliques. So he has four other offers to play in the division but his heart is so hugely invested in this team. Should I wait to the end of the playoffs to tell him or tell him now?

wait until the end- adults suck.
the main priority now is for him to try and win a championship with his teammates.

Guest wrote: ↑Fri Mar 22, 2024 11:46 pm So it’s our first year on a A level team, previously played at a higher level squad but was cut as the team was blown up. Now your kid is clearly playing at the proper level and a solid player on a good team. How do you explain to your kid that “he is just not a good fit”. Coach says he’s a strong player and has progressed well throughout the season but he’s just not a good fit. There a two players who are clearly less talented at the same position that are coming back. Both players new to the team as well. Both parents with generational type wealth, where I’m just a blue collar working stiff. I think it’s our family that’s not the right fit. How’s he going to react? I think he will just realize that this is just a bunch of bulls$it and who needs it. I always thought playing in the gthl would mean athletic talent superseded money or cliques. So he has four other offers to play in the division but his heart is so hugely invested in this team. Should I wait to the end of the playoffs to tell him or tell him now?

Start to softening the blow now. Be honest Start to lay into the fact the team is more about money than skill, that he would do better elsewhere. Don't go overboard that he starts playing like shit just that he understands why the change needs to be made when it happens.

The team sounds like it sucks, you and your son will be happier elsewhere. You will also have the motivation of revenge feeding him next year.

stop being a victim. take off your rose coloured glasses. No coach would pass on a kid who is good. those are the excuses of a talentless finger pointer. put your kid in bowling, there is a score system with no bias. yet a parent like you will complain that the guy who greases the alley screwed you over.

just tell your 11 year old he is a victim and no matter what he will get screwed cause dad is also talentless

Guest wrote: ↑Sat Mar 23, 2024 4:05 am stop being a victim. take off your rose coloured glasses. No coach would pass on a kid who is good. those are the excuses of a talentless finger pointer. put your kid in bowling, there is a score system with no bias. yet a parent like you will complain that the guy who greases the alley screwed you over.

just tell your 11 year old he is a victim and no matter what he will get screwed cause dad is also talentless

Dear Guest,

I understand your frustration, but let's try to keep the conversation constructive and respectful. Explaining how politics work to an 11-year-old is about providing guidance and understanding, not about assigning blame or negativity.

It's important to teach our children about the complexities of the world, including how sometimes things may not seem fair. However, it's also crucial to instill in them the values of perseverance, resilience, and integrity.

Instead of focusing on negativity, let's encourage our children to focus on their strengths, work hard, and strive for excellence in whatever they choose to pursue. Whether it's sports, academics, or any other endeavor, there will always be challenges, but it's how we respond to them that matters.

Let's set a positive example for our children by promoting a mindset of growth, resilience, and empathy.

Best regards,

Guest wrote: ↑Sat Mar 23, 2024 4:05 am stop being a victim. take off your rose coloured glasses. No coach would pass on a kid who is good. those are the excuses of a talentless finger pointer. put your kid in bowling, there is a score system with no bias. yet a parent like you will complain that the guy who greases the alley screwed you over.

just tell your 11 year old he is a victim and no matter what he will get screwed cause dad is also talentless

Top teams in every age group have kids that suck. Usually the coaches kid or the coaches friends kid who are only on the team because of politics. If you think there aren’t politics you haven’t had a kid in hockey very long.

Guest wrote: ↑Sat Mar 23, 2024 4:05 am stop being a victim. take off your rose coloured glasses. No coach would pass on a kid who is good. those are the excuses of a talentless finger pointer. put your kid in bowling, there is a score system with no bias. yet a parent like you will complain that the guy who greases the alley screwed you over.

just tell your 11 year old he is a victim and no matter what he will get screwed cause dad is also talentless

It's A hockey, nobody is that good. This is the level where friends and family matter way more than actual ability. What the parent is learning is that they don't have friends on the team despite I'm sure being led to believe they were. That's the bottom line and the good news is you found out they were fake pieces of shit sooner than later. Always better to find out as soon as possible so you can move on. And at that age they will find new friends on a new team and forget the other kids even existed.

Guest wrote: ↑Sat Mar 23, 2024 11:03 am

Guest wrote: ↑Sat Mar 23, 2024 4:05 am stop being a victim. take off your rose coloured glasses. No coach would pass on a kid who is good. those are the excuses of a talentless finger pointer. put your kid in bowling, there is a score system with no bias. yet a parent like you will complain that the guy who greases the alley screwed you over.

just tell your 11 year old he is a victim and no matter what he will get screwed cause dad is also talentless

It's A hockey, nobody is that good. This is the level where friends and family matter way more than actual ability. What the parent is learning is that they don't have friends on the team despite I'm sure being led to believe they were. That's the bottom line and the good news is you found out they were fake pieces of shit sooner than later. Always better to find out as soon as possible so you can move on. And at that age they will find new friends on a new team and forget the other kids even existed.

Bang on!

It sounds like you both learned a valuable lesson.

But don't be so hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with being a "Blue Collar Working Stiff". These are the people who keep the "generationally wealthy" wealthy. Without your efforts, the wealthy would have to do the dirty work themselves. Imagine that!

That said, your player is at the entry point of thier hockey journey. No scouts noticed your kid got released.
Stop installing a victim mentality. It only produces a reason to be a future loser. Look your kid in the eye and tell him the truth. He's a good player with lots of potential but he's gotta put the work in and WANT to improve.

This advice holds true for future employment, relationships and personal growth. Not all situations will work out in his favor. Stop indoctrinating a victim mentality and start encouraging the "accept failure as learning moment" coupled with the "do whatever it takes to succeed" attitude and your player just may end up not being a blue collar working stiff like dad.

End of the day...give your kid a hug, tell him you love him and you're with him every step of the way as you prepare for what's next.

Its a long road. Enjoy the ride together. Its over sooner then you think.

No go get em champ. You and him can do this!