Minor Hockey Talks - Hockey Forum

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:48 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:41 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:31 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:08 am so basically it sounds like hockey brings a lot of false hope to people in that their kid is 'going somewhere' through hockey.

It’s the people, not the game

Oh i know. It's all these little skills businesses that lure people in, tournament directors, camps, hockey schools, etc and the parents.

I've noticed that hockey really only seems to matter these days if you're 'elite'. I don't want to feel that way but it seems that is what people want to hear about and see. No one cares about tier 2 or select. They want to see 9 year olds skating/shooting/passing at a high school level. I know a family who left hockey recently because they felt it only mattered if you were on an elite team...and they knew it didn't seem likely that their kid would get there...because he wasn't in that scene at 9/10. Maybe they were smart and wanted to focus time and money on other things.

My son plays AAA division in the Spring. He is a really good player. Would rather play with his friends then try to join an “Elite” spring team. Not going to waste time or money on “Brick Evaluation” camps. Cash grab to line pockets, if he has a good year in AAA then they will reach out. If they don’t, oh well. He will play AAA division again with his friends. Probably not good enough to make it without sacrificing the whole summer and spending 10K with PHD.

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 12:41 pm

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:48 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:41 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:31 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:08 am so basically it sounds like hockey brings a lot of false hope to people in that their kid is 'going somewhere' through hockey.

It’s the people, not the game

Oh i know. It's all these little skills businesses that lure people in, tournament directors, camps, hockey schools, etc and the parents.

I've noticed that hockey really only seems to matter these days if you're 'elite'. I don't want to feel that way but it seems that is what people want to hear about and see. No one cares about tier 2 or select. They want to see 9 year olds skating/shooting/passing at a high school level. I know a family who left hockey recently because they felt it only mattered if you were on an elite team...and they knew it didn't seem likely that their kid would get there...because he wasn't in that scene at 9/10. Maybe they were smart and wanted to focus time and money on other things.

My son plays AAA division in the Spring. He is a really good player. Would rather play with his friends then try to join an “Elite” spring team. Not going to waste time or money on “Brick Evaluation” camps. Cash grab to line pockets, if he has a good year in AAA then they will reach out. If they don’t, oh well. He will play AAA division again with his friends. Probably not good enough to make it without sacrificing the whole summer and spending 10K with PHD.

Everyone thinks their kid is a really good player.

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 12:48 pm

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 12:41 pm

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:48 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:41 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:31 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:08 am so basically it sounds like hockey brings a lot of false hope to people in that their kid is 'going somewhere' through hockey.

It’s the people, not the game

Oh i know. It's all these little skills businesses that lure people in, tournament directors, camps, hockey schools, etc and the parents.

I've noticed that hockey really only seems to matter these days if you're 'elite'. I don't want to feel that way but it seems that is what people want to hear about and see. No one cares about tier 2 or select. They want to see 9 year olds skating/shooting/passing at a high school level. I know a family who left hockey recently because they felt it only mattered if you were on an elite team...and they knew it didn't seem likely that their kid would get there...because he wasn't in that scene at 9/10. Maybe they were smart and wanted to focus time and money on other things.

My son plays AAA division in the Spring. He is a really good player. Would rather play with his friends then try to join an “Elite” spring team. Not going to waste time or money on “Brick Evaluation” camps. Cash grab to line pockets, if he has a good year in AAA then they will reach out. If they don’t, oh well. He will play AAA division again with his friends. Probably not good enough to make it without sacrificing the whole summer and spending 10K with PHD.

Everyone thinks their kid is a really good player.

Thinking your kid is a good player is fine. Thinking your kid is a good player and pretending you are a superior human being because of it is quite another. It’s pathetic and hilarious. These parents who think their kids ability to handle a puck at 9 years old is indicative of their self worth are more pathetic than words.

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 11:30 am

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 10:57 am I think the focus should be less on what parents do, because frankly they can do whatever they want, and should be on, why parents do this, what's the end goal, and what are better options to actually attain that goal

The parents mentioned by the OP are typical, and everyone sees it everywhere. I, with 3 kids having gone through the system, 2 who played Jr. A, have seen LOTS of examples of the "crazy parent." For all of them, their goal in doing so much hockey, skills training, tournaments, off ice training etc, is always the same....they think their kid is going somewhere, specifically a level of hockey "post" minor hockey. So if can identify the end goal for the vast majority of these parents, we can also identify the "why" they are doing this.

So we get to the inevitable "next question," is this the best way to achieve said goal.

The answer to that is easy, NO it's not.

The best analogy is the "often used, but rarely adhered to," development is a marathon, not a race. This for the most part lands on deaf ears, and MOST parents fall into the trap of "more is better." They have their kid specialize, or at the minimum have them on the ice 12 months a year, get them in rec. soccer or LAX for a few months, and declare them "multisport" athletes. Meh, they're burning the candle at both ends, and setting up their kid for mental burnout, and physical repetitive motion injuries. The short term reward is there, and kids who do this get quick results, but most times they don't achieve their goal.

Parents are also afraid to be realistic and acknowledge that playing at an "elite level" after minor hockey, is extremely rare. The goal should be, among other goals of health, fitness, making friends, goal setting, having FUN, etc., but to give the kid an opportunity to reach "their" potential, whatever level that potential may be.

For the record, 1 of my kids was an HL level player, but also swam and did some martial arts. The other two, both played Elite soccer-never in the winter, and NEVER played even ONE game of spring hockey. They did development once a week in the spring, and when old enough did workouts on their own at home. One still playing, other is done and in school. Both can play 2 sports at an elite level, and are decent at several other sports. Never burnt out, never injured, and "they" still LOVE the game.

I admit it was very tough to not get caught up in what everyone else was doing, and we were often excluded from things, but it all worked out.

Bullshit

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 1:10 pm Bottom line is this… we all know these parents exist and have existed forever, the really annoying ones are the ones that only have one child in hockey so their whole world revolves around that one child playing hockey, there’s nothing that can be wrote on here or told to these people in person that’s going to change any of this behaviour. It’s as simple as you get it or you don’t get it!

Whoever wrote the comment about these training camps, skills schools & skating schools feeding on parents hopes and dreams is 100% right - it’s a big money maker!
I’m not gonna mention any names here, but there are actual ex- NHL hockey players that are doing this , there are parents of ex- NHL and NHL players that are doing this. It’s a scam! But I guess you have to go through it and learn the hard way. It’s a shame that it’s an expensive lesson for these parents.

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 1:10 pm Bottom line is this… we all know these parents exist and have existed forever, the really annoying ones are the ones that only have one child in hockey so their whole world revolves around that one child playing hockey, there’s nothing that can be wrote on here or told to these people in person that’s going to change any of this behaviour. It’s as simple as you get it or you don’t get it!

Whoever wrote the comment about these training camps, skills schools & skating schools feeding on parents hopes and dreams is 100% right - it’s a big money maker!
I’m not gonna mention any names here, but there are actual ex- NHL hockey players that are doing this , there are parents of ex- NHL and NHL players that are doing this. It’s a scam! But I guess you have to go through it and learn the hard way. It’s a shame that it’s an expensive lesson for these parents.

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 1:19 pm

Guest wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 1:10 pm Bottom line is this… we all know these parents exist and have existed forever, the really annoying ones are the ones that only have one child in hockey so their whole world revolves around that one child playing hockey, there’s nothing that can be wrote on here or told to these people in person that’s going to change any of this behaviour. It’s as simple as you get it or you don’t get it!

Whoever wrote the comment about these training camps, skills schools & skating schools feeding on parents hopes and dreams is 100% right - it’s a big money maker!
I’m not gonna mention any names here, but there are actual ex- NHL hockey players that are doing this , there are parents of ex- NHL and NHL players that are doing this. It’s a scam! But I guess you have to go through it and learn the hard way. It’s a shame that it’s an expensive lesson for these parents.

Are you also angry if a person buys a BMW, and doesn't need one?

Does someone who spends FAR MORE money on their daughter's dance or cheer, also qualify as a target of your jealousy inspire hate?

How about someone who brings their kid to early morning swimming lessons several days a week, with meets all over the place?

What about figure skating, with private and semi-private coaching, travel, all costing more than hockey?

What about parents in competitive gymnastics who literally take their kid out of school to participate?

Are you jealous at all the parents who can afford Prep schools-there are LOTS?

I think your house is too expensive, the car you drive you got scammed on and you should feel shame!

I also hate people who travel more than me, have more stuff than me, and eat out more than me! wow