by Guest » Thu May 08, 2025 9:17 am
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INCOMING NEWS FOR MY SOURCES AT DON MONT GOOMERY! Superstar AAAA Russian player Conner B has been spotted at 2010 EE AA tryouts!!!
2024 Russian league Stats:
Goals: 67.7
GP: 40
Apples: 17
season ending hits: 14
Suspensions:2
My sources tell me that EE coach is going to turn Conner B into a two way SYB killing stud. As we look forward to the 2026 playoffs SYB parents are shitting themselves because their kids are in serious danger.
BEWHERE OF CONNER B HE IS DANGEROUS>
I'm Kyle Bukkakes and that's my take!
SINGING OFF.
Kyle Bukkakes, seriously? You think we’re scared of Conner B? Let me tell you something—SYB parents aren’t buying into your hype. My kid and the rest of the team have been grinding hard, and we’re ready for anyone, even some “superstar” from Russia. We’ve seen it all before—flashy stats and all talk. SYB has been dominating for years, and no one is going to intimidate us with one player. So keep spouting off, Kyle, but when the season’s on the line, we’ll see who’s really dangerous.
INCOMING RESPONSE FROM KYLE BUKKAKES!
So you want to talk about grinding? Please. Conner B is a different breed. Over in Southern Oklahoma, he finished the season with 65 goals in 38 games, 22 apples, and 12 hits. That’s a stat line most players can only dream of. But you want to talk about “teamwork”? That’s cute. The guy is a machine, and when he steps onto the ice, he takes over. SYB parents can keep pretending like it’s all about the group, but when it comes to talent, Conner B is a one-man wrecking crew.
Let’s not forget his 2024 Russian league stats either: 67.7 goals in 40 games, 17 assists, and 14 hits. Oh, and the guy’s got money—big money. Conner B’s family is loaded. We’re talking about a kid who rolls in cash like it’s nothing. You really think some middle-of-the-pack team like SYB is going to intimidate him? The kid’s living in a different world, and it shows. That kind of wealth and talent? It’s a lethal combination.
SYB parents are already shaking in their boots, and trust me, they should be. This isn’t a “flash in the pan” situation—Conner B is a bona fide superstar, and with that kind of money backing him, you best believe he’s got all the support to make sure he dominates. So go ahead, keep the denial going, but when the season gets real, we’ll see who’s standing and who’s getting run over. This kid is dangerous, and there’s no stopping him.
SINGING OFF.
KYLE BUKKAKES - MOSCOW, RUSSIA
This is a joke and SYB fell for it. Connor B is already a member of EE.
BREAKING UPDATE FROM KYLE BUKKAKES – REPORTING LIVE FROM OKLAHOMA CITY, OK
To all the SYB parents out there still clutching their pearls—yes, it was a joke. Yes, you fell for it. And yes, Conner B has already been a locked-in member of EE for weeks. The kid’s been skating at Don Montgomery, running powerplay drills in a custom Bauer fit, and toe dragging defensemen into early retirement. This wasn’t some “sighting”—this was a full-blown takeover. The fact that you all went DEFCON 1 over a tryout post just proves how unprepared you are for what’s coming.
Let me run the numbers again for the people in the back:
— 2024 Russian Elite Youth League: 67.7 goals, 40 games played, 17 assists, 14 season-ending hits, 2 suspensions, 1 hat trick celebration fine
— Southern Oklahoma Tier 1 U15: 65 goals, 22 apples, 38 games, 4 Gordie Howe hat tricks, 1 ejection for “excessive celly”
— Net worth (approximate): $4.7 million (crypto investments + early stake in Bauer XTech Division)
— Skates: Custom-molded Bauer Vapor Hypers, diamond eyelets
— GPA: 3.9 (yes, he studies and snipes)
You SYB folks keep talking about “grit” and “heart” like it’s 2003. Meanwhile, Conner B is gliding past traffic cones in your D-zone and sending groupchats into full meltdown. EE isn’t just adding a player—we’re building a legacy. And the foundation? Conner B, he’s Moscows finest export since cheese curds and playoff heartbreak.
So next time, before you jump into a keyboard war, take a breath, check your facts, and remember who runs the East.
Signing off,
Kyle Bukkakes
EE Insider | Oklahoma City, OK
Oh, now it makes sense—Kyle Bukkakes, chirping from OKC like he’s the king of the AA East. You really think tossing out stat lines from Southern Oklahoma is gonna scare SYB? News flash: this isn’t backyard barn league anymore. This is real hockey, and Conner B hasn’t seen pressure like this in his life.
You can keep rattling off goals, apples, and “custom Bauer setups,” but none of that matters when you’re up against a team that actually plays like a unit. SYB doesn’t need flash—we’ve got discipline, structure, and kids who leave everything on the ice. We don’t care how many points he put up against teams from towns with one stoplight.
So keep hyping him up, Kyle. Let EE buy into the fantasy. But when the puck drops, don’t be surprised if Conner B finds out real quick that the East plays a different game.
— A Proud (and still not impressed) SYB Parent
INCOMING RESPONSE FROM KYLE BUKKAKES — LIVE FROM OKC, STILL LIVING RENT-FREE IN SYB HEADS.
Ah, there it is. The classic “real hockey” speech from a parent who just watched his squad get bounced by a goalie standing on his head. I respect the passion, but let’s not pretend SYB is running some kind of military-grade shutdown machine. Your “structure” gave up four goals on ten shots last time Conner B was on the ice. That’s not discipline—that’s a disaster.
You talk about pressure like Conner hasn’t already dealt with it. The kid’s been skating in packed barns since he was ten, wearing the target and thriving. He’s got poise, a release quicker than SYB’s playoff exits, and yes—he’s still using those custom Bauers to make defenders look like traffic cones. Doesn’t matter if it’s Oklahoma, Ontario, or the moon—talent travels.
So keep clapping back, proud parent. Keep telling yourself your system is airtight while Conner B is breaking ankles and breaking hearts from Scarborough to Shanghai. We’re not scared of your grit—we’re just skating past it.
— Kyle Bukkakes
OKC Certified, SYB Electrified, EE Verified
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INCOMING NEWS FOR MY SOURCES AT DON MONT GOOMERY! Superstar AAAA Russian player Conner B has been spotted at 2010 EE AA tryouts!!!
2024 Russian league Stats:
Goals: 67.7
GP: 40
Apples: 17
season ending hits: 14
Suspensions:2
My sources tell me that EE coach is going to turn Conner B into a two way SYB killing stud. As we look forward to the 2026 playoffs SYB parents are shitting themselves because their kids are in serious danger.
BEWHERE OF CONNER B HE IS DANGEROUS>
I'm Kyle Bukkakes and that's my take!
SINGING OFF.
[/quote]
Kyle Bukkakes, seriously? You think we’re scared of Conner B? Let me tell you something—SYB parents aren’t buying into your hype. My kid and the rest of the team have been grinding hard, and we’re ready for anyone, even some “superstar” from Russia. We’ve seen it all before—flashy stats and all talk. SYB has been dominating for years, and no one is going to intimidate us with one player. So keep spouting off, Kyle, but when the season’s on the line, we’ll see who’s really dangerous.
[/quote]
INCOMING RESPONSE FROM KYLE BUKKAKES!
So you want to talk about grinding? Please. Conner B is a different breed. Over in Southern Oklahoma, he finished the season with 65 goals in 38 games, 22 apples, and 12 hits. That’s a stat line most players can only dream of. But you want to talk about “teamwork”? That’s cute. The guy is a machine, and when he steps onto the ice, he takes over. SYB parents can keep pretending like it’s all about the group, but when it comes to talent, Conner B is a one-man wrecking crew.
Let’s not forget his 2024 Russian league stats either: 67.7 goals in 40 games, 17 assists, and 14 hits. Oh, and the guy’s got money—big money. Conner B’s family is loaded. We’re talking about a kid who rolls in cash like it’s nothing. You really think some middle-of-the-pack team like SYB is going to intimidate him? The kid’s living in a different world, and it shows. That kind of wealth and talent? It’s a lethal combination.
SYB parents are already shaking in their boots, and trust me, they should be. This isn’t a “flash in the pan” situation—Conner B is a bona fide superstar, and with that kind of money backing him, you best believe he’s got all the support to make sure he dominates. So go ahead, keep the denial going, but when the season gets real, we’ll see who’s standing and who’s getting run over. This kid is dangerous, and there’s no stopping him.
SINGING OFF.
KYLE BUKKAKES - MOSCOW, RUSSIA
[/quote]
This is a joke and SYB fell for it. Connor B is already a member of EE.
[/quote]
BREAKING UPDATE FROM KYLE BUKKAKES – REPORTING LIVE FROM OKLAHOMA CITY, OK
To all the SYB parents out there still clutching their pearls—yes, it was a joke. Yes, you fell for it. And yes, Conner B has already been a locked-in member of EE for weeks. The kid’s been skating at Don Montgomery, running powerplay drills in a custom Bauer fit, and toe dragging defensemen into early retirement. This wasn’t some “sighting”—this was a full-blown takeover. The fact that you all went DEFCON 1 over a tryout post just proves how unprepared you are for what’s coming.
Let me run the numbers again for the people in the back:
— 2024 Russian Elite Youth League: 67.7 goals, 40 games played, 17 assists, 14 season-ending hits, 2 suspensions, 1 hat trick celebration fine
— Southern Oklahoma Tier 1 U15: 65 goals, 22 apples, 38 games, 4 Gordie Howe hat tricks, 1 ejection for “excessive celly”
— Net worth (approximate): $4.7 million (crypto investments + early stake in Bauer XTech Division)
— Skates: Custom-molded Bauer Vapor Hypers, diamond eyelets
— GPA: 3.9 (yes, he studies and snipes)
You SYB folks keep talking about “grit” and “heart” like it’s 2003. Meanwhile, Conner B is gliding past traffic cones in your D-zone and sending groupchats into full meltdown. EE isn’t just adding a player—we’re building a legacy. And the foundation? Conner B, he’s Moscows finest export since cheese curds and playoff heartbreak.
So next time, before you jump into a keyboard war, take a breath, check your facts, and remember who runs the East.
Signing off,
Kyle Bukkakes
EE Insider | Oklahoma City, OK
[/quote]
Oh, now it makes sense—Kyle Bukkakes, chirping from OKC like he’s the king of the AA East. You really think tossing out stat lines from Southern Oklahoma is gonna scare SYB? News flash: this isn’t backyard barn league anymore. This is real hockey, and Conner B hasn’t seen pressure like this in his life.
You can keep rattling off goals, apples, and “custom Bauer setups,” but none of that matters when you’re up against a team that actually plays like a unit. SYB doesn’t need flash—we’ve got discipline, structure, and kids who leave everything on the ice. We don’t care how many points he put up against teams from towns with one stoplight.
So keep hyping him up, Kyle. Let EE buy into the fantasy. But when the puck drops, don’t be surprised if Conner B finds out real quick that the East plays a different game.
— A Proud (and still not impressed) SYB Parent
[/quote]
INCOMING RESPONSE FROM KYLE BUKKAKES — LIVE FROM OKC, STILL LIVING RENT-FREE IN SYB HEADS.
Ah, there it is. The classic “real hockey” speech from a parent who just watched his squad get bounced by a goalie standing on his head. I respect the passion, but let’s not pretend SYB is running some kind of military-grade shutdown machine. Your “structure” gave up four goals on ten shots last time Conner B was on the ice. That’s not discipline—that’s a disaster.
You talk about pressure like Conner hasn’t already dealt with it. The kid’s been skating in packed barns since he was ten, wearing the target and thriving. He’s got poise, a release quicker than SYB’s playoff exits, and yes—he’s still using those custom Bauers to make defenders look like traffic cones. Doesn’t matter if it’s Oklahoma, Ontario, or the moon—talent travels.
So keep clapping back, proud parent. Keep telling yourself your system is airtight while Conner B is breaking ankles and breaking hearts from Scarborough to Shanghai. We’re not scared of your grit—we’re just skating past it.
— Kyle Bukkakes
OKC Certified, SYB Electrified, EE Verified